Sunday, November 30, 2008
It is like....4 months past since the last post. Maybe i should try to continue a bit. Many things have happened over this time. And there are many changes going on too.
I have tendered my letter and will be working till 12th Dec 08. Sy and ash are also leaving at the end of Dec. So guess there will be many more new faces in the Kino? Over this year, there are others who have left the store. Karen, Amy, Alyssa, Jessica, Log 1 and 3 also moved to LC. Wouldnt say that i am verrryyyy close to them (well maybe not so for karen), but i am really glad that i got to know them? Haha..
Was discussing with ash yesterday that usually ex-staff dont come back that often due to other commitments. And slowly, their distant with the present staff unavoidably drifts apart. Yucks, it was sucky to just think about it for both of us. So we tried to make it a point to call each other if either one of us is going to go back and visit the rest.
My jc friend had set up a blog in order to update the rest of the gang since we dun meet often. Though i dun check other ppl's blog if i am really lazy, think i would just try to update mine ba, in case anyone is interested in my well being?? =x
I dyed my hair today. So now the colour is not as light as before. And thus i dun look yellow (yes!!!). i will go think up what i should write for the next entry.
fei
--Mary HAD a little lamb--
10:53 PM
Well..
Sunday, July 20, 2008
Once again, i read and re-read and think and re-think about the entries..its nothing much but this is my point of view, not to trying to start any counterattack anyway.
For myself, i appreciate the msn messages that u sent me, especially since i am a passive person and i don't usually initiate chats with my friends. I thank you that you always attended my bday celebrations. I always thought i was kind of lucky as you attended my celebrations the almost everytime as compared to others in the group. Perhaps i haven't tried having you as the closest friend among the group, so actually even if you don't give anything i didnt really mind too, your attendance s enough to gain my satisfaction. Even when you didnt show up this year, i was happy enough to receive your sms cos at least i know u bother to sms.
I admit that jing's blog might be harsh in words. I also admit that all those actions you listed out in your blog, you actually fulfilled them. And it's true that wounds created by hurting words are hard to heal. I had kind of taken this whole matter lightly until i saw your reply entry. It is a time when i feel that nothing no longer matters. It is the way how you defend yourself.
We had never try to gang up and punish you with harsh statements. Who is able to punish you when you don't even feel that you have faults? The only thing i notice is, whenever you acknowledge about one thing that jing mentioned, the next thing you do is to defend yourself. You said you are hurt, you are sad. What about us? You think making you frustrated and sad is our main aim?You think we are enjoying ourselves watching you suffer? No. We just want to let you know what we have been experiencing. You feel that you don't deserve whatever treatment you got, what makes you think we deserve what you did to us? How do you think i felt when after persuading sin to share a small bouquet of flower with me all i got was a comment "Ey i think you gave me this before"(which we didnt) instead of a single "thanks"? At this point of time you might think i am exaggerating but putting yourself in my shoes, i am sure you feel the same way?
Also, expensive gifts dun equal to decent. I can throw a Chanel bag at my fren and expect them to like it cos it is branded. This, is not decent. Me and my jc group also have lower budgets. But we took turns and time to go out together to at least choose something we thought the bday girl/guy can use or will like, and we will try to organize everyone together. This, is decent.
If we have been materialistic and superficial. We would have severe ties with you and Suli long time ago, since us, with more spending power as working adults would lugi cos we cannot expect to get expensive gifts from you guys. If we have been materialistic and superficial, sin wouldnt have suggested students pay lesser for the chalet, since it would mean you guys were gonna leech on us.
I understand that it is unreasonable to expect others to changed into a totally different person. I used to think i am born a straightforward person, and i say whatever i like irregardless of how other pple felt. Then i slowly come to realize, the world doesnt revolve around me, telling other people "hey but that is me" doesnt solve the problem and it aint gonna make them any happier. Of course i wasnt able to change alot, but i tried to think twice before i said something, i tried to make things sound less hostile. Efforts can be made. You could have made a note in your schedule book consisting of bdays. Once again, i am in no stand to complain as i have said earlier you rem my birthday and i thank you for it. But i can hardly accept the reason that one can be justified because he/she is just like that. If everyone justified themselves this way, WW3 is not far from us.
Finally, another thing which i cannot accept, is the way you handle this problem. I am glad for you that you have found peace in your heart. Though you may not mean it, it sounds like even after you are being targeted at, you managed to get over and we are like, hm bullies not worth having? I am not saying that we are saints that have been tolerating you all along but please remember, it takes 2 hands to clap. One thing that disappoints me the most, is that you never once thought you also had parts to play, and even if you do, you quickly pull in loads of reasons to defend yourself, and the worst is, you thought we have nothing better to do and thus we gang up and made you suffer.
It is a good thing that you have found friends who love you for who you are, unlike us. I pray for your good fortune.
--Mary HAD a little lamb--
12:04 PM
To a friend of mine
Friday, July 18, 2008
Hmm..after reading and re-reading ur post...i think the best is u go read up jing's entry. Tells you how we all feel. And one thing i definitely agree with her blog is, when we didnt mention it, doesnt mean we dun feel that way.
--Mary HAD a little lamb--
11:55 PM
Monday, June 30, 2008
I had a dream about the whole of my company is having a vigorous camp. Its a necessary camp for everyone, i guess maybe for the sake of strenthening ourselves for the job. I duno why it never occurs to me until the end that we are just book sellers=.=
bah
--Mary HAD a little lamb--
10:56 AM
Friday, June 27, 2008
Ya ya...my blog is dead~ hahaha... aiya its not even considered as a blog. This is just a ranting place, no standard at all =.= maybe i should change to journal instead. So next time if i get to say "you can go view my journal" i will not feel so paiseh.
I finally got to meet up with jc friends le hehe ^^. So happy... was afraid that i would one day lose contact with them. We don't live near each other, we all have different schedules, and right now 3 of us are going to prepare themselves to become aspiring teachers!! But still hope can meet up often la..just tt i opt for cheap places =x
Work place...recently i am fine...getting used to some pple. But my idol in the store going to dubai neh~ so zzz... of course i am happy for her that she can widen her horizon over at a country that is creating such a big woo-ha (how to spell?) around the world. I am just sian at the thought tt the faggot is still staying in the store. If he was so capable, why dun they send him there=.=
Still thinking if i should study overseas. The expense is really...hm...unthinkable? i will miss pple here leh...but that also shows i should also try to be independent ?
--Mary HAD a little lamb--
10:53 AM
Tuesday, March 25, 2008
Damn..this world is so practical. If i ever had a chance to pass grade 5, i will have to pay 200-300 for learning flute in the future. Mom said not worth it. I dunno wat i had i wanted to gain from learning, but i hope i can never stop learning it.
So many things i had wanted to do..yet i have not enought time and money...guess this is the life everyone is living with. Or you can say its juts an excuse for lazy people.
--Mary HAD a little lamb--
11:11 PM
Tuesday, February 26, 2008
不服气，真的不服气。为什么我的身边总是有一堆自以为是的人？我做的任何事都不对，别人说的都正确。。我已经尽力了，为何就是不要放过我？
--Mary HAD a little lamb--
12:13 AM
